Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Conversations

That is what is on my heart today! What a crazy crazy day today for me.
We have had trouble with all of the doors in our new house-I am not complaining about them just stating the facts. We have had them worked on more times than I can even count. lol I am hoping that this will be the end-we had the finisher guy come out yesterday and today and what an awesome talk he & I had.
Before I tell you about it I have to tell you about ME! Boy was I judging him just by the way he looked-now I really do know better but I'll be honest I just couldn't stop myself and then he went on to tell me he had been in prison-hello did you hear me say prison! And for one brief second I thought all kind of crazy things and I do mean crazy but then all of a sudden I just felt my heart opening up to him. I really can't explain it but we started talking about God and I would love to say it was me leading it but it wasn't! It was all this guy! He was telling me his story while he worked on my doors. And man was it a story. Just broke my heart-made me laugh and cry-be angry for the people who were nasty to him and sorry for the way I felt about it him at first. It was just that intense. He was only hear about an hour but what an hour! You could just see his love of Christ and man it gave me chills. He quoted Scripture like crazy. He just had the gift! After he left I felt this peace-I mean it was so odd to me. That I had to take more quiet time with God and just praise Him for bringing this guy to me. The one thing that really set with me was he talked about Forgiveness! Just awesome stuff.
So then I started reading for my Bible Studies and in some of them was guess what Forgiveness. Do you think there is a trend there? Then I was reading some of my favorite blogs and guess what yep-forgiveness was the topic. By this time I am thinking..........
hmmmmmmmmm think God is trying to tell me something?! :) I am not being flippant I just need a shove or a hit up side of the head and while I didn't get those I did get Forgiveness on the brain and heart! So, I am thinking that I need to do some serious praying about forgiveness. Truth be told I am scared out of my ever loving mind about that! I have a hard time with that or let me restate it I might forgive someone but I never ever forget which means at a drop of the hat I am right back to being not happy with that person. So, do you think I really forgave them? Heck no!!! Ouch!!!!! Nothing like being honest! I know I am not perfect but I am thinking that God has something in store with me for this and I am afraid it is going to be U*G*L*Y(for me)!!!!!!
Pray for me-I am so going to need it!

6 comments:

Conny said...

oh wow, BJ! That's so awesome ... and yeah, SCAREY!! Sometimes God kind of gently taps us on the shoulder & sometimes He whacks us over the head with a big ol' 2x4! Will be praying for you about this one.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Love your blog and a great design...Just blog hopping and enjoyed yours.....Hope you will stop by my new Christmas blog...There is a GREAT GIVEAWAY drawing on OCT 1st
http://grammyababychangeseverything.blogspot.com

De'Etta @ Choosing Joy said...

Yes, I'll pray for you. It was the HUGEST breakthrough ever when I was finally able to extend forgiveness...well...never mind the whole story...but it was huge. ::snort::

Tried to find you on skype earlier....thought reading the blog would be second best. LOL

Christina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LuvinThisLife said...

What an incredible experience!

I know how hard it is to forgive and to not forget, but to move on so that when you see that person again the pain doesnt come flooding back and the anger doesnt rise up again. THAT part of forgiveness is truly a divine gift, I can never do it alone...

I am praying for you! hugs!

(The above was deleted by me, I accidently posted it from the PWOC acct... whoops)

Rebekah said...

What an incredible story. But I think we all assume a person by they way they look- so you're not alone.

And I understand about the forgive/ forget issue. There is a thing or two that come to my mind at the drop of a hat. I have to be very careful not to let it control my thoughts.

But we have all been there- that is why Jesus died on the cross.

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