Saturday, May 16, 2009

Peace

I have been a big ball of nerves. I found out yesterday that my dad is in the hospital and will need surgery on Tuesday-bypass to be exact. It hit me harder than I thought it would. I don't want to get all into it but to put it in a nutshell we just don't get along. It has always been that way and I have come to accept it-that it will always be that way.
Anywho, I have decided that I am going to stay here in Texas -unless I get the call to come. If not then I will be in Ohio in 52 days and I pray that-that will be the way it plays out for me. It wasn't an easy decision to stay here but at the same time I didn't want to go either. I know for some this will make no sense and to those who know the history will get it. I did talk to my dad today and he sounded better and I explained to him what I was doing but if he said the word I would come. He thinks for now it is best to stay the course and we'll take it from there. So, I feel at peace with it.
Plus there have been some other things on my mind and these to have now brought me a peace. I have been praying and just turning it over to God which is still very , very hard for me. I like being in control and when I am not-I freak out about. However, when I was "talking" with God-I felt the go ahead to still "freak-out" but I can't stay there to long. WOW! That was a huge relief to me & it brings me peace.

4 comments:

Conny said...

(((((BJ)))) Praying for you - and your dad...

Renee said...

{{{Bobbie Jo}}
I can understand you not going. My dh did the same when his dad had heart issues and needed surgery. We weren't asked to come and it would have been very difficult finance wise to do so...and of course there would be nothing we could do... with 5 kids we would have just gotten in the way.

Jennifer said...

Praying for you. I too find it hard to "give it to god".

De'Etta @ Choosing Joy said...

You know I'm still praying...and glad that you are living in peace in the midst of it all.

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