Peace

I have been a big ball of nerves. I found out yesterday that my dad is in the hospital and will need surgery on Tuesday-bypass to be exact. It hit me harder than I thought it would. I don't want to get all into it but to put it in a nutshell we just don't get along. It has always been that way and I have come to accept it-that it will always be that way.
Anywho, I have decided that I am going to stay here in Texas -unless I get the call to come. If not then I will be in Ohio in 52 days and I pray that-that will be the way it plays out for me. It wasn't an easy decision to stay here but at the same time I didn't want to go either. I know for some this will make no sense and to those who know the history will get it. I did talk to my dad today and he sounded better and I explained to him what I was doing but if he said the word I would come. He thinks for now it is best to stay the course and we'll take it from there. So, I feel at peace with it.
Plus there have been some other things on my mind and these to have now brought me a peace. I have been praying and just turning it over to God which is still very , very hard for me. I like being in control and when I am not-I freak out about. However, when I was "talking" with God-I felt the go ahead to still "freak-out" but I can't stay there to long. WOW! That was a huge relief to me & it brings me peace.